


ALIENS

by The10ofSwords



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU: no Sburb/Sgrub, And the beta trolls are rebelling, Give me some slack this is my first fic ever, More tags to be added, Multi, Okay this is my first story, Umm basically the troll race has invaded Earth, Yay rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:27:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The10ofSwords/pseuds/The10ofSwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earth is currently occupied by the invading force of the planet Alternia, more specifically, the violent troll race that lives there. Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you just want a way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

ALIENS: Chapter 1

The invasion took earth by surprise. Her Imperial Condescension's ships had swept into the humans solar system, and easily decimated the most powerful military hubs- The Kremlin, The Pentagon, Tokyo- all were destroyed, among thousands of others, leaving the planet completely helpless and at the mercy of the invading force called Alternia- who, it soon became clear, were a cold and cruel race practically created to conquer. 

Their skin was the color of ash, bleak and grey, their hair and lips black- the only color they showed being their horns, orange at the base, fading to yellow at the tips. And, of course, their blood. But those who saw it never lived to talk about it. It was a rare sight; the aliens had tough skin, but it was said that there was a whole palette of blood colors, ranging from maroon to almost magenta. They had predatory teeth, like a cat's, with claws to match. They would rend and tear when their weapon of choice didn't do the trick- or when they wanted to see a little more blood. Trolls (which is what the aliens called themselves) had a thing for blood. It ruled where they stood in their society- and apparently the cherry red of human blood was so low it wasn't even a part of their 'hemospectrum'. Any troll found to be such a hue was apparently culled on the spot. 

The humans learned all this from the constantly played infomercials over the television, radio, Internet- it was everywhere. The Condesce, as she called herself, had been planning this invasion for years. Hacking onto the air, the Internet, corrupting important officials who she could wrap around her fingers and use to weed out possible revolutionaries. She halted trade, so Alternia was in control of everything from the military to the economy. In under a month, the world was like something out of 1984- Big Brother was always watching, not even your closest friends could be trusted. Anyone might turn you in for the smallest reward- more food, a higher allowance of electricity or water, things which had become threateningly restricted by The Condesce. 

Streets were patrolled by trolls with bows and arrows- an outdated weapon one might think, but you had seen them kill and you knew better. Archeradicators, they called themselves, and they never missed a shot. 

There were also trolls with lances, the cavalreapers, and indigobloods called subjuggulators- they were terrifying. They would paint their faces and use unusual weapons to kill for fun. And for them, the more blood, the better. 

Earth had never stood a chance.

\-------------------------------

And so it came to be, that four months later, on April 13th, a young man stood in his room and looked out into the bleak Washington cityscape. 

Your name is John Egbert. Today is your sixteenth birthday. You remember having enjoyed practical jokes, japery, and other 'hilarious antics', as you thought them. Now it all seems rather childish to you. You also used to like other things, like Fruit Gushers and admittedly terrible movies, but you don't really care to remember. You don't care for much lately. You can see the faint outline of your defining characteristics in the windowpane, your messy raven-colored hair, thick, round glasses, and sapphire eyes (though the blue wasn't quite caught in the transparency of the window). Your physique was tall and lanky, and quite thin- but solid from the manual labor they had you do. You hadn't been eating much food lately. Whether it was because of the shortage of food, or for lack of want, you couldn't tell. 

You sigh. You had been like this since they had taken away your dad. You were chalking it up to a loss of hope. And that was it. You refused to let yourself think about it too much, lest you fall deeper into this pool of apathy. Sighing again, you decide to turn on the TV. Cable was always free. 

ALTERNIAN CRIMINAL REPORT:   
TWELVE TROLL PRISON ESCAPEES WERE LOST IN A VIOLENT RIOT YESTERDAY EVENING. 

God you hated how this thing shouted at you.

IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING PERSONS ARE SIGHTED, IT SHOULD BE REPORTED TO THE NEAREST CRIME FORCE REGISTRY. WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE OR HIDING SUCH CRIMINALS IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH. 

THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF THE WANTED PERSONS.

ARADIA MEGIDO

An image flashed on the screen of a troll girl- teenager? Is that a thing for trolls?- with ram horns and long, wavy black hair, reaching almost to her waist. Her eyes were yellow on grey, with a ring of maroon to hint at her blood color. 

TAVROS NITRAM

The mug shot of another teen troll, more masculine than feminine though not by much, with a Mohawk (trolls have those too?), septum piercing, and absurdly wide bull's horns, seemingly almost too wide for a doorframe. You almost smile. 

He appeared to be a brownblood, the color of peanut butter. 

SOLLUX CAPTOR

You realize you're going to have to sit through ten more of these.

The photo of a very angry troll with blue and red light spilling from his eyes and his fangs gritted in rage appeared on the screen. You wonder if all trolls' eyes do that. You're so fascinated by this that you miss all other details.

The broadcast continues to show the remaining of the twelve trolls it promised. While pretending not to be fascinated, you're starting to think up a Christmas song around it. Needless to say, it's terrible. But you remember the remaining trolls by appearance if nothing else: a dangerous-looking yet fashion-conscious jadeblood troll girl, a young tealblooded troll girl with red pointy glasses who was all teeth and quite sinister, another sinister troll chick with one eye and a robotic arm- a blueblood, then a very sweaty and STRONG looking navyblood with broken shades and long hair, a troll guy with facepaint (troll clowns?) who despite his lazy smile still had an air of danger to him, then a pompous purpleblood with fins and a hipster scarf and a sneer, and a royal tyrian blooded fish girl with lots of jewelry and a large smile. 

Wow that's a lot of escapees, you think. And all kids? Something is up here. But the screen changes once more. The television announces KARKAT VANTAS and the blurry image of a young troll male pops up onto the screen. His hair is a mess, his horns are nubby, but that's all you can really tell from the photo. There are small words on the screen:

Blood color:???  
Sign:???  
Age: 8+ Solar Sweeps 

As the image is projected, the obnoxious voice returns to tell you that this Karkat is the RINGLEADER OF A HOPELESS REBELLION and he will be PROSECUTED ACCORDINGLY, BY EXTENSIVE INTERROGATION AND EVENTUAL DEATH. Ah, you think, so they're rebels. Of course, by interrogation they mean torture. You sigh, and before the broadcast can continue, you shut it off. You never even got to watch something decent, but you're suddenly quite tired. 

As you sleep, you dream for the first time in months. Your mind is filled with thoughts of rebellion, and you think you might see a glimmer of hope. But you don't reach for it quite yet, almost afraid it'll shatter and fall to pieces at the slightest touch. 


	2. In The Pit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo there you have the premise of the story, now I guess I'm trying to add more of the kids. I don't know how to pesterlog. I'm just posting this chapter right away so that people don't just see the single 1k-word chapter and be like 'Aint worth mah time!!' or whatever. Cuz that's what I do. Anyway, a fic for you, those who suffered through the first chapter and survived. 
> 
> ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION  
> I HAVE NO BETA.   
> SO YEAH.

ALIENS: Chapter 2

You awoke at 5:30 as usual, a half hour before the Honk would sound. Groggily rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you rolled out of bed and moved to sit at your desk. As your laptop powers on, you reach for your glasses and put them on. The screen glows to life, and you quickly log into Pesterchum. Your only true friends live incredibly far away, but such is the story of your life. 

\--ghostyTrickster began pestering turntechGodhead at 5:32--

GT: hey dave   
GT: you there?  
TG: well finally.   
TG: good morning sleeping beauty.   
GT: dave come on you know theres a huge time difference!  
TG: oh right that whole hour is so preposterously huge i dont know how to deal.   
GT: you know time isnt my strong suit  
TG: do i ever.   
TG: thats the greatest thing about being me  
TG: aside from my unbeatable coolness attribute  
GT: and what would that be?  
TG: time is always on my side.   
GT: oh really?  
TG: yeah.   
TG: even if i try to be late I'm always on time  
TG: its crazy  
GT: right. sure  
TG: i dont think youre taking this seriously  
GT: thats not so far from the truth :B  
TG: no man you dont get it  
TG: like i start moving ninja speed  
TG: i cant even do anything about it   
GT: doesnt that sound a little weird to you though?  
TG: yeah but really if you were here youd believe me  
TG: come on you cant be completely normal  
TG: whats your secret egderp?  
TG: how have you preserved your mind from all those shitty movies?  
GT: dave i dont even like those movies anymore!  
GT: but actually now that you mention it there have been some weird things happening to me...  
TG: well dont keep me waiting now cmon spill   
GT: jeez give me a second  
GT: ok youre gonna think this is really crazy but..  
GT: sometimes i think i can like, move the air around?

Dave doesn't respond for a minute or so. 

TG: okay yeah that is pretty weird  
GT: i told you it was crazy  
GT: but im serious about it  
TG: well all the years ive known you ive never known you to lie  
TG: and actually  
TG: i think rose might have some black magic powers  
GT: dont say that here  
GT: shell know  
GT: she always knows!  
TG: yeah man thats what im talkin about  
TG: its scary

Suddenly a vast chorus of honking erupts from outside. 

TG: and if im correct   
TG: youre due for some heavy lifting  
GT: yeah thats the Honk  
TG: okay man catch ya later  
GT: bye dave!

\--ghostyTrickster has ceased pestering turnteachGodhead--

The caterwauls of honks seem to grow louder. You hear a window break. The Subjugglators are getting rowdier by the day. You don't bother changing, or even brushing your hair.  You do this for two reasons; one, because if you look too well-kept then you could draw attention from the really desperate people, or even trolls, and two, because you have neither the time or the will to do so. So you step outside, into the suddenly bustling street. It was still a little dark outside, and chilly if not for the sweater you practically lived in because you often sacrificed heating and occaisionally water for electricity. 

Also it was incredibly loud, the honks and profane shouts of the trolls rending the air. You brace yourself and begin to sprint towards your working station. 

Today you are assigned to carrying away the rubble from the destroyed areas of your city, demolished by the initial invasion, and transporting it out of town where it would be piled up and then burned. You would have to lift up heavy pieces of people's houses, broken furniture and glass, chemicals and trash. 

But the worst part was the occasional body they found. 

Of course you had to report the find to the trolls who oversaw the project. Though it was less of a project and more of a way to keep the humans busy, and too tired to try anything rebellious. The trolls would tell you what to do with it- at best, burn it. But often times they would make the humans hang it somewhere, like a gruesome flag of surrender. 

So you board one of the transportation ships that would fly you to wherever you were assigned for the day. It was cramped, and the flights were jerky so you tried to stand near some nonviolent-looking men. 


	3. D--> Jailbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so I made this chapter in Equius' POV so you have to keep in mind that some things aren't as important to him as they are to a human? Also the bloodcaste system is totally natural to trolls, so those at the bottom of the caste are basically expendable. 
> 
> I encourage you to comment/review, whatever it is you guys do and yeah. Try not to hate it.

ALIENS: Chapter 3

Your name is EQUIUS ZAHHAK and you don't understand how you got into this mess. You had been guarding the prison, walking down the hall lined with cell doors as a novice prison guard (you weren't among the ranks of the archeradicators, as were most of your blood. Due to your unnatural strength, you had broken every bow you touched. Luckily, this made you an excellent guard), when a great commotion had interrupted your thoughts. You broke into a sprint towards the cat-like screeches of a troll female. As you rounded the corner, your breath caught in your throat. You weren't quite shocked by the sight of two prison guards- of a purpler hue, judging by their facepaint- beating down a young oliveblooded girl. But... This situation was wrong. Her yells had become more like mewls at this point. 

You were now faced with a difficult decision- obviously you could not oppose the guards due to their higher ranking on the hemospectrum, but you could not just leave the girl there to die, as she surely would at the hands of these... No, your lusus had taught you your manners. And a firm adherence to the hemospectral laws. 

Then, however, one of the indigobloods dropped down to the girl's level, who was laid out on the floor, and wormed one of his claws into the nape of the girls neck. She screamed. You saw a splatter of olive blood spray his hand and forearm. And then her eyes met yours, pleading for help. 

Something inside of you seemed to snap then, filling your thinkpan with a burning rage. 

You don't really remember much until a few moments later when you find yourself standing over the two trolls' bodies, absolutely coated in indigo blood. 

Oh gog oh gog what have you done, you can't live with yourself after spilling such noble blood, no no no this isn't happening it's just a dream, a terrifying dream please be a-

'.... trying to help mew, it's okay, really!'

The small voice had grown in volume and reached a small cry. You hadn't even noticed in your mental breakdown. You, with your extreme strength, were shaking like a leaf and drenched in sweat, your heart was pounding and you were hyperventilating. Also, there was quite a mess at your feet. 

But first, the girl. 

You turned your attention to her, where she lay bleeding on the ground. Clearly, there was no turning back now. You had made the desicion (rather, your instincts had made it for you), and now you would have to stick it out to the end, for better or for worse. Probably worse. If she would let you, that is. 

You stepped carefully towards her, slowly, then bent down before her and oh so carefully slid your arms underneath her, hoping you wouldn't hurt- 

"Oh thank mew!!"

She abruptly threw her arms around you and squeezed, squeaking slightly in pain, then continuing. 

"I'm so glad mew came to save me!! Those mean highblood bastards would've killed me fur sure!"

You had completely frozen, fearing that if you accidentally moved in the wrong way you would injure her further. She nuzzled the crook of your neck for a moment more while you crouched, sweaty and immobile, before suggesting "Um, meowbe we should leave?". 

Of course. Leave. You, the guard, should help this prisoner escape. Who knows what she's done? You decide to not let yourself think about it, and begin to move to the loading dock, where hopefully you won't be accosted by guards who are actually doing their job. 

As you begin at a quick sprint, the girls suddenly says to you "Wait! We're leaving the others!". Others?

She points to one of the cells- number 421- as you pass, one you know quite well. 

She can't mean- no. Ohhhh no. There is no WAY you are opening the cell of the loudest, angriest, most insufferable- oh hell you've already unlocked the door, onehanded, while balancing the girl in one arm. Quite a feat, if you do say so yourself. 

And now this lewd mongrel is on the loose. As expected, he let's off a stream of admittedly creative profanities. Typical, as he appears to be some kind of rustblood, judging by his plethora of bruises. He doesn't look like he's stopping anytime soon, either. 

"Do not speak so crudely in the presence of a lady."

The short angry troll from cell 421 was seemingly stunned into silence. He stares at you for a moment. 

"AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT RIGHT NOW?? MY FUCKING MANNERS?!?"

Wow, this kid can yell. And to be frank, it is getting on your nerves. 

"I could break your skull with my bare hand. In fact, I should. But instead, I am granting you your freedom.  Do not make me regret this choice". 

He's silent for a brief moment, probably trying to figure you out. When he speaks again, it is at a reasonable volume, and seemingly calmer. 

"Okay. Thanks for letting me out. I hope I can trust you. I'm going to go ahead and open up a few more cells, okay?" 

"Be careful of who you let out."

"Right."

Well at least he can be reasonable sometimes. Whenever you had passed his cell he was screaming curses at you, or another guard who happened to be there. This often riled up the indigo guards and led to violence. 

"Thank mew for saving me, um-"

"Equius."

"Equius. My name is Nepeta! We're going to be grreat furends, I can tell!" 

Though her voice was somewhat choked, you could see her enthusiasm. You admired that, that she was probably in great pain yet she was distracting herself from it quite well. Still, as soon as you got out of here, you wanted to patch up her wounds. Speaking of which...

The angry troll from cell 421 had wasted no time in letting out three trolls; a dangerous- looking indigoblood (arrested for not just murder, but slaughter), a red-eyed female tealblood who grinned widely upon her release, revealing her sharp set of teeth, and a mustardblood with 3D glasses and a grimace. 

They, in turn, went to release more trolls. Including one in a wheelchair. You can't even think of a reason why he could be here. But when all was said and done, there were ten trolls before you, and the one in your arms. The whole process did not even take a minute. Like any prisoner, they all wore plain black shirts and pants. As a criminal, they had been stripped of names, titles, and signs. 

"Follow me."

You may as well exert your authority while you had it. Although... You hadn't seen if there was anyone here who was higher on the hemospectrum than you, aside from the indigoblood... Maybe you should ask his permission to lead? No, what are you thinking? 

You decide to quickly stop at the personal storage block, where you kept your personal belongings and ate lunch. You don't bother with the lock, instead just tearing away the little metal door with one hand. You quickly realize that you will not be able to properly put on your small backpack while holding a troll bridal style. Nepeta must realize this also because she reaches in and takes the bag, settling it on her lap. 

To the loading docks you go, then. 

The group is surprisingly quiet, the only noise being the harsh breathing of the mustardblood and the squeaking of the cripple's wheels. You could fix that. If you wanted.

When you arrive at the loading docks, no one is there and the door is open. What a ridiculous stroke of luck. You notice a one-eyed blueblood, a caste below you, smirking. You choose not to dwell upon it. 

A quiet moment passes, and you decide it's safe enough to run for it. Of course there are security cameras, but you knew that they weren't monitored 24/7. You could only hope that they wouldn't notice until later. 

You and the prisoners exited the ship, and paused. Something was wrong. The landscape, the air? You couldn't quite place it, but it was different. Even the feel of the ground through your sandals was off. Although you knew that the ship was constantly changing locations, this was like nothing you've ever seen. 

The angry troll started walking out towards the cover of trees, calling out "CMON YOU SHITHEADS DON'T JUST STAND THERE WAITING TO DIE."

"Wow karkles, don't let us get the impression you're taking this personally!"

"WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK TEREZI OF FUCKING COURSE IM TAKING THIS PERSONALLY. IM HONESTLY SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T CULL ME ON THE SPOT!"

"Thut up 'karkles', thomeone'll hear uth."

"RAH!"

The ragtag bunch of lawbreakers has now entered the forest. You take this chance to take another look at your new... Acquaintances. Looking back, you see the indigoblood looking calmer than he had before, pushing the cripple's four wheel device. Who, it would appear, is no more than a brownblood with absurdly large horns. You are quite perturbed by this arrangement. You become even more anxious as the highblood gets fed up with the device catching on the rocks and twigs and opts to simply begin carrying the troll. A brown blush spreads across the lowblood's face. You should really start learning names. 

The one-eyed troll girl from earlier, who is also missing an arm you notice, is walking- no, strutting, or trying to anyway, while helping a jadeblood girl with short hair and a limp through the dense foliage. Plants don't grow this closely on Alternia, at least no part of Alternia you've ever seen. And that was quite a bit, since you've been on this ship for sweeps now and they let you off for a few hours everytime you landed. 

\------------------------

You've been walking and jogging in turn for over two hours now, and you return your attention to your... You don't quite know what to call them. Group? Horde, more like. How are you going to keep all these trolls from being seen? Wanted trolls, no less. 

What have you gotten yourself into?

"Um, Equius?"

"Yes? Are you feeling alright?"

Your level of concern is surprising even you. You can't explain the attachment you feel to this girl, it just... Is. 

"Well, the one on my neck is still bleeding, and I think some on my legs from a while back have reopened... Plus I hurt all over furom the bruises..."

You can see she just wants to rest. But you don't even know where you are, so you can't even begin to think about where there's a place to- you stumble upon a break in the trees and are suddenly exposed. It may be dark, but trolls are nocturnal after all. You are temporarily confused at what you're looking at. Hives, obviously, but not like any you've ever seen before. And a great many of them indeed, across a meadow of sorts that sloped downwards towards the hives. The group begins to move towards it by some unspoken agreement, when you see two archeradicators talking to one another on the edge of the cluster of hives. 

"Get down!"

You hiss the command before dropping behind a shrub, moving so as not to discomfort Nepeta. The others take a moment to follow suit, a very tense moment for you, to register the reason behind your actions. They all heed your command. 

You peer past the leaves, setting Nepeta down for the time being. After a time, both troll men began to walk their separate ways. This is your chance. Now or never. 

You meet eyes with Grumpy, he sees it too. He nods. You both get the others' attention and signal that you're about to make a break for it. All the kids are quiet and attentive. The rust(?)blood seems to have leadership qualities, as he points to an abandoned hive close to- but not on- the edge of the hivecluster. The he holds up three fingers. Then two. You shift Nepeta back into your grasp. 

One. 

You all dash across the open plain, trying to stay as low as possible. You, of course, are at the edge once most of them are about halfway. First behind you is the blueblood speedily helping her companion across, then the hothead leading the tealblood, a rustblood with ram's horns, with the mustardblood beside her, then two trolls who you hadn't really seen up close but oh my gog they have gills how did you miss that?? They are ROYALTY why weren't you helping them?

You are immediately distracted, however, by the two bringing up the rear. The indigoblooded troll has been carrying the brownblood (shameful!) all this way. He clearly is not as strong as you, and is tiring fast. And he knows it. So does the cripple. All it takes is a slight misstep of feet grown clumsy with fatigue to bring them both down. And, as foretold by Troll Murphey's Law, down they come. You practically drop Nepeta (how rude of you!) and race back to where they're lying. At least most of the trolls have now reached cover, and in two seconds more all of them will be safe for the moment, all of them except yourself and these two. 

Upon reaching them, you realize the highblood is in no condition to run. He has toiled himself to exaustion by carrying the brownblood. Speaking of whom..

He meets your eyes, and says  
"T-take him first. I-I'll just slow you g-guys down."

You don't disagree. You lift the highblood in your arms and race him to cover. Just in time, too. Both guards turned around not seconds after you reached safety. You see Nepeta has reached her feet, unsteady but able. Good, because you don't know how you would continue otherwise. You scope out the strange hives around you, most of which seemed abandoned. You chose the third one in, and began to carry the highblood towards it when you realized you weren't being followed. You turn. 

The two seadwellers were headed your way, though the male was practically dragging the female, who kept glancing back. They were having a whispered argument that you couldn't hear. Other than that, though, the rest were still peeking back at the abandoned lowblood. Who was also a cripple. And stuttered. But... Were you just going to leave him there?

The patrol must have been getting close, because they started to back away, and, one by one, they finally followed you. You quietly enter the hive- the door wasn't even closed all the way. Your exaustion was starting to catch up with you, even as you entered, but you and a few others searched the place quite thoroughly before settling down. 

"Odd."

You looked over at the jadeblood, whose comment had caught several trolls' attention. 

"Well don't keep us waiting, Kanaya! What has clawt your inpurrest?"

The jadeblood, Kanaya, replied   
"There is no sopor anywhere in this hive. I checked carefully, but to no avail."

You all fall silent. Mostly too tired to respond, or to think about what this could mean. 

You've laid down the highblood on the couch, and you stare at the door, contemplating the benefits and possible consequences of going to fetch the brownblood. But... You find yourself sitting on another sofa, and without your permission, your eyelids begin to droop. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm sorry this took so long to put up! It probably wasn't even worth the while, but hey at least it's here. Please understand that a lot has been going on for me, especially at home, and I don't get wifi there either. Anyway. I was thinking of changing some of the ships, if you have a suggestion, please comment :3 any other comments and whatnot are greatly appreciated, help me get better guys! I hope you don't hate it, but here it is. Chapter four! (and I haven't forgotten about the other kids, fear not :3)

ALIENS: Chapter 4

Your name is TAVROS NITRAM and you are probably screwed. 

Of course you asked the big guard troll to take Gamzee- but you had sort of hoped that he would come back for you. Instead, you were left lying in the blissfully tall grass on your stomach, unable to move or look around due to your horns. Story of your life. At least Gamzee was okay. Probably. 

You had met Gamzee when he was assigned to the cell across from yours, cell 422. At first he yelled a lot and threw things, and for a while you tried not to pay any attention to him. But he piqued your interest. His facepaint (which he tried to preserve but came off within a few days, and the guards did not supply any more for him), or his wild hair, or the fact that he stood at about 6"1' plus his horns which added another foot- you didn't quite know what it was. 

Pretty soon, though, he quieted down, like all long-term prisoners did. You had seen it many times before, this behavior. You had been in your own cell for a very long time. 

Once his rage-fueled energy had run out, he would spend hours just sitting on his cot, staring at his hands clasped between his legs, elbows resting on his knees. He was like that for a few weeks. 

Then something inside of him woke up. It was sudden, one day while he was sitting on his cot and you were sitting on the floor of your cell with some Fiduspawn playing cards (the non-lethal adaptation of the game) and watching him out of the corner of your eye, and he looked up. You felt his intense gaze fixate on you, practically burning a hole in your thinksponge. 

"Hey brother, what's that ya got?"

\----------------------------

Your name is once again JOHN EGBERT. While you were hauling away rubble, two purpleblooded troll men (with fins!) had worked their way through the group of humans, looking each one over in a frighteningly intense manner. One looked rather cross, with horns that curved backwards and ended in sharp points, while the other looked almost jolly and sported horns that went off his head at a slight angle, spreading away from each other and ending but a few inches away from his head with something of a barb.  They wore fine clothes, their hair was perfectly sculpted, and they were covered in gold piercings and jewelry. Each one had a wickedly sharp dagger in his belt, and a rapier at his side. They looked like aristocratic pirates. 

At noon, your lunch break (if you'd had the food to spare), the two seatrolls approached the group again and selected two of the other men, and you. Well, they really just pointed your way and breezed past, but you didn't want them to think you ignored them, as they would probably kill you. Trolls were finicky in that way. 

The three of you warily approached where the trolls now stood. You didn't know what they wanted of you, you were all pretty less-than-average in terms of strength or looks... Wait! What if they'd brought you over here to cull you? Well shit, it was too late to run now, oh no...

"Humans."

His voice was so thick with contempt you could barely discern the words. Maybe it was just his accent. Their attitude seemed pretty volatile, so you decided not to answer, since it wasn't even a question, really. 

"You 'avve been selected for a special assignment. You should be honored since this is a vvery important one."

His companion began to speak, in an accent akin to an Irish one. 

"Wwhat wwe need ya to do is go an evvaluate some a' the human hivves at the edge a' town."

The first one spoke again, and you decided you didn't like him as much. His friend wasn't as cold or menacing. 

" The hivves out on that side 'avve been neglected, an' wwe need to see if they're hospitable so wwe can relocate some a' the extra humans there. Wwe still need 'em to work, otherwwise we'd a' culled 'em on the spot."

His friend spoke again, smiling brightly. it made you a little nervous. 

"On th' bright side, you get t' ride there wwith us!"

The first troll glared at him, spitting "Don't you be gettin' friendly wwith 'em, Garzon. It's one thing t' get chummy with th' lowwbloods, but these ain't evven trolls."

"Ah, come off it Terren!  They're just so glubbin' cute!"

The first one's demeanor, Terren, changed abruptly as he grinned rather frighteningly. "It's things like that that make me pity you, Gar."

Garzon smiled back, almost as disturbingly as Terren had. 

Trolls sure are weird. 

\-------------------------

You are once more TAVROS NITRAM. You are still FROLICKING DOWN MEMORY LANE. 

When the ill-tempered shouting troll got put in cell 421, right next to Gamzee, a sort of balance was reached. The troll, whose name was revealed to be Karkat Vantas, had a strange calming effect on Gamzee, which was helpful when he'd get into a "motherfuckin unmiraculous rage", and Gamzee somehow managed to bring Karkat down from even the worst of his screaming rants. 

This put you at a loss, however. With their obviously pale relationship working so dynamically, both had seemed to forget about you. That was fine in terms of Karkat, but it hurt a little because you had thought that Gamzee....

Nope. You focus on the present. The sun is most definitely rising, and you are most definitely concerned. You know know the Alternian sun can kill, or merely damage- something you learned during your practically nonexistent childhood, in an accident with some of your friends. Friends with whom you shared a prison, or had at least. But that wasn't what had landed you there, or either of them. 

You reminisce for a while. You think about playing Fiduspawn with Tinkerbull- and not the knock-off non-fatal cardgame version they had you playing in prison, either. The real deal, the brutal battle of lethal monsters that you yourself spawned and controlled. The game was known to end in death, on occasion. 

You'd never lost. 

\-----------------

Wow, these houses were way at the edge of the city! You're JOHN again. Surprise!

You were given a stack of papers and a clipboard & pen, and told to fill out each paper as deemed reasonable depending on the house. They had also taken down your identification info, presumably so they could find and kill you if they thought you weren't up to snuff on the job. 

 Walking down the street from where you'd been dropped off (it had been one helluva ride in the trolls small aircraft) , you approach the first house you've been designated to inspect. Each paper has a house number on it already, this one being 4242. 

"4242 564,  whenever you want to knock on Death's door..."  
You had only watched two episodes of that show before everything went to hell. You had really been getting into it, too. 

Anyway. You glance at your sheet. 

\----------------------

Well the sun is up and you aren't even getting a mild burn. Some horrorterror from the veil must a finally sided with you. 

-Where have you assholes been all this time???- you think. 

It's still pretty bright though. You can feel the warmth on your back. Nothing has happened for several hours, aside from a horrible pillbeast trying to crawl up your nose, so you've become acute to the noises and smells around you. You wonder if this is what it's like for Terezi. Aside from having your face smushed on the ground, that is. 

Really though, shouldn't the sun have killed you by now? Or at least given you some serious burns. As welcome as this unbelievable stroke of luck is, it's rather unsettling. 

Footsteps. The Archeradicators were on constant patrol, and only came this close to you every half hour or so. You tensed up every time, begging any and every deity you could think of for a chance. 

As if that had ever worked. 

\---------------------------

JOHN again! How rude that TAVROS didn't even bother to introduce himself in the last passage. Anyway. 

You had filled out four sheets in the last several hours. This brought you to the end of the road, and the end of the city. You heard footsteps, and quickly concealed yourself behind a dilapidated wall. 

Peeking out, you saw a darker blueblood troll with a bow and quiver full of arrows. Oh my. He walked past without noticing you. He must be bored to death of that job. 

Otherwise he might have noticed... A form? Something, lying motionless in the grass. What an unexpected plot development!

Your only choice, of course, is to investigate! So, with many mind-boggling hijinks and acts of daring-do, you proceed to trip over your own feet and become close friends with the concrete. 

You pick yourself up quickly, brushing dirt off your jeans and shirt. You sure hope no one was watching!

\-------------------------

You are now THE PERSON WHO WAS WATCHING. Who IS this asshole?? Look at him, trying to pretend nothing happened as he coddles his nose which had bravely taken the force of the fall and protected his glasses and prevented his brain from further damage. 

You are KARKAT VANTAS and you SEETHE IN SILENCE. Or so you think.  

"For gog'th thake, KK, what ith it NOW?"

"Will you LOOK at this COMPLETLY retarded asshole?? What the everliving FUCK is a fucking ALIEN doing on planet fucking Alternia? Why is it still breathing?"

"Give yourthelf a thecond to remember, KK". 

Oh. "Well, we could still be on Alternia. Maybe we're on one of the poles, and the wildlife has gone flying squeakbeast- shit INSANE here".

"Inthane enough to change the brightness of the thun and the number of moonths? I don't think tho".

"Shut up Captor. Since when do prison ships go to other fucking planets?"

"Who knowth? We've been out of the loop for yearth, remember."

"True."

You had to concede his point. You were currently in the foremost livingblock of the home, peeking through the window facing the street. That thing, was it attempting to pass the Archeradicators? Another thought hit you. 

"Why are trolls patrolling this area like a goddamn military base, then?"

"I'm not all-knowing, KK. Tho far I've jutht been thpeculating." 

"I hate not knowing."

It scares the shit out of you. 

\-----------------------

You, as JOHN EGBERT, peek around the side of the last small house on the road. The thing... It's still there. You realize it's actually a troll, judging by the bit of horn sticking out of the grass. Really, how had he remained hidden? Unless... It was already dead? The thought chilled you. But you knew damn well you wouldn't be able to rest until you were sure. 

Besides, you have the opportunity. The archer had only just gone past, after all. So you crept quietly across the lawn, checking to make sure the warden had not turned back, until you reached the motionless figure. Well, it wasn't entirely motionless. It was shaking. 

You crouched down by it's side, at a loss of how to start this conversation. So you just... Reach out and grab it's shoulder, and turn him over. You see his face, definitely a guy, for a second before he punches you in the face. You go careening backwards, landing on your back with your arms flailing about in an unseemly manner. Your heart skips a beat. You're expecting him to leap on you and finish you off. But he doesn't move except to prop himself on his elbows and scoot slightly away from you, not moving his legs to aid him in speed. The terror on his face is so plain it's making you scared too. 

"Uh-"

"Woah man, it's okay! Just calm down, and try not to kill me?"

Somehow, your words always sound more confident than you feel. 

"Th-the Archeradi- radicators-"

"Yeah, they'll be here any minute! Come on, get up, we need to run!"

His face turns a bit brown, which you figure is the troll equivalent of blushing. He's still looking at you like you're a tiger or something, slavering for a smackerel of troll. 

"Uh, I have, well, my legs don't uh, work."

Oh boy howdy doody. 

"Okay, I'll help you up and out of sight, and we'll figure it out from there, okay?"

He must be too overwhelmed to speak, because he just nods. You quickly glance in either direction, making sure the patrol is out of sight, then you scoop him up, stagger a moment while you regain your balance, and make a break for cover of houses. The troll squeaks a little. You're going to take a slightly different route to houses that look safer, instead of the road you took here. As you jog slightly back to shelter (while you're not a weenie, you certainly aren't the pinnacle of physical health, either), you sense movement to your right. The troll in your arms sees it too, and whimpers very quietly. He's quite a nervous fellow. 

You quicken your pace, jogging past abandoned houses. You clench your jaw, because it wouldn't do to have your new friend seeyou scared, now, would it? 

\-----------------------------

Shitshitshitshitshit-

\---------------------

You stop trying to be TAVROS NITRAM, because he's too terrified to form a coherent thought. 

Instead, you will be GAMZEE MAKARA. you have JUST WOKEN UP and you're CONFUSED AS SHIT. You seem to be on some sort of cot, like you had in prison most days. Twice a week you got a sopor bath. That was it. You don't remember anything past running past the treeline with Tavros. Everything past there was a blur until it blacked out completely. Motherfuck. You remember being tired as hell since the horrorterrors had kept you awake. They weren't as violent as usual, just disturbing, twisting and rending and eventually just fading away. Like they were falling away. 

Your head begins to pound and you close your eyes tight, bringing the blanket over your head. 

\----------------------------

Holyshitthatwasafuckingarrow-

Another whizzed past your head, scoring your ear. You grit your teeth. The next one, you knew, would not miss. In a last desperate attempt, you dove into an alley. You Threw the troll into a dumpster. It was all you could do for him. You were about to duck behind it, but you noticed an open window on the wall before you. You all but flew in, landing on something soft, a couch probably, with a muffled thump. 

You didn't dare move as you heard the fast footsteps approaching. It stopped, but you could still here his harsh breathing. You felt liquid dripping onto your shoulder- blood. The whole right side of your head throbbed with pain. The footsteps started again, continuing through the alley to see if you had pulled a fast one on him.

You were probably the luckiest son-of-a-gun on Earth right now. 


End file.
